Musings of a confused butterfly

Love is a very strange feeling. It is extremely confusing and indefinite. It makes your emotions the mental equivalent of a tornado that's decimated a small town.  Some people love in a nice way. In a simple way. In an easy way. When those people lose someone they love, they mourn, but eventually they move on. But others, don't love in a nice way. It's not soft or wholesome. It fills up so completely that sometimes it becomes difficult to breathe. It's not healthy. It's not right. It's a love that involves the whole goddamn soul. When they lose their love, they would raze the fucking world to the ground. They'd ruin it, just for existing when their love didn't.  Now, this is the kind of love they talk about in history books, the ones that started wars. The reason empires rise and fall. The connection that burns so hot that it isn't a gentle flame. It's an inferno that could ignite the whole world.  Love comes into your life like a bolt from the b...

 I have come to realize that our hardest and happiest moments usually happen within the span of a few seconds. We rarely see it coming, whether it's good news or a rash decision with life-altering consequences. But it's the tough ones that stand out the most. They make an impact. There is never any time to prepare yourself, both mentally and physically. All you can do is pick up the pieces and move forward as best as you can.  There have been many such moments in my life. Events that changed the very fibers of me. That constructed me. The reasons I act. Behave. And all it took were seconds. My reality changed in mere seconds. Every time it happens I become emotionally burnt out and confused. I debate with my mind, which wants to cower, to hide in a dark place inside me, and with my body which wants to drown or to feel something intense that doesn't burn. To remember, it's mine. Because in those moments, my body only feels the incident. Like it has only just been dragged...