Nightmare

Life is unpredictable and ever-changing. It is also cruel and sad. Sometimes it is like a star dying, everything it loves, and everything it is, pressed inwards, crushing the life out of it. Sometimes no one is as they seem and nothing feels as it should.

How do you fight that darkness? 

You refuse to let it snuff out your light. One does not fully live if one does not feel. It is what separates those who merely exist and those who truly thrive. Realization of truth is always described as an instant of enlightenment but sometimes the truth comes in slow, icy increments and there is nothing you can do about it. You end up asking yourself, 'Why did I have to be this way? If I had changed, could I have escaped?'

No.... No, you could not have.

There will always be bad people and bad situations and they will take and take. Everyone's life is filled with mistakes, poor choices, small victories, and everything in between. It is all yours and yours alone to face. We all will get help along the way, but thinking they could solve our problems is ridiculous. 

Some people give up. Some people curl up into a ball and let the the world kick the shit out of them without ever fighting back. And maybe these people, if they survived, would feel brave. But know this,

survival is messy. It is not pretty and there is no pride and dignity in it. It is all just a blur of black and white with splotches of red. It is driven by the single most primal instinct we have. To exist. To stay alive. 

But amidst all that, try not to worry about things you can't control. Keep going. Don't waste your energy thinking about anything else, just focus on getting through. Because no matter how much you want to, you can't hide from the monsters. All you can do is stand and face them. And remember that there are good things in the world, and not just a relentless march of lies, secrets and cruelty.

And if you still don't find the strength, then stop being a victim. Be somebody's nightmare.

Believe in yourself

Fight for yourself

With all the love in the world

Yours truly,

Butterfly