Musings of a confused butterfly

Today is my best friend's birthday. On a good day, I feel like a shitty friend. Today is worse. I have known my princess for 8 years now. In these 8 years, everything in my life has turned upside down, except her. She is my constant. Now I know it is wrong to place your happiness on one person. But my God there is not a single day this girl doesn't make me happy. So it becomes very difficult to keep my cool around her, especially knowing that she has this entire universe outside of our friendship that is so much better than anything I could ever give her. But that doesn't stop me from going hulk anytime anything remotely threatens us. I think it probably has to do with the fact that she came into my life when I was heartbroken. I was not even good to her but she wore me down and told me she is not leaving. I don't know what she saw in me all those years ago in that library, but I am grateful to her. She chose to stay when most left. Now, baby I know I am missing your bi...

Dear you,  I don’t know why things happen the way they do, but I believe that the result is always the same. I believe in fate. If you veer off course, fate will help you back on. It wouldn’t matter what direction you took, eventually, your life would lead you to the destination you needed to be at. Maybe that’s us. Maybe things could have been easier between you and me. But maybe I didn’t want it to be easier. Because every scar that I’ve received on the way to getting here has helped me mold into the person I am today.   I have heard that if you struggle to sleep at night, someone is thinking of you. Like an anchor, tugging on your soul to keep it in this world, as opposed to losing yourself in purgatory. Isn’t that what a dream state is? Purgatory for your head and the messed-up things inside of it? The place your demons meet with your sanity, and they fight about who will win. Will it be your nightmares or the actuality of peace? I like to think of my life as purgator...