Loneliness
Loneliness is not always visible. Sometimes it happens at 3 in the afternoon while you are knee-deep in work. It just hits you and you won't be able to escape it. But the problem is you have convinced yourself that this was necessary- this loneliness. You thought it was the only way to survive. So you let it consume you. And now, it is overwhelming. When you spend so much time trying to convince yourself that you will always be alone, it becomes difficult when someone wants you. It feels like cheating. It feels like eating something you are not supposed to eat, and you eat it too quickly, always afraid of them walking in and seeing it smeared all over your face, the damning evidence of your hunger to be wanted, to be needed. But nobody wants to love someone that desperate to be loved, so you do your best to be indifferent. You walk in the cold, with your hands in your pocket, too afraid to hold them out. You do your best to look like someone who doesn't want anything t...