Self Love

 Everybody talks about the importance of self-love. It is necessary for the overall well-being of our mental health. But nobody ever really talks about how to love yourself. How do you not judge yourself? How do you not doubt your capabilities? How do you believe in yourself? All these questions swim around our heads when we are asked to love ourselves unconditionally. 

Here are some things I learned over the years that helped me love myself. 

It all starts with Positive Thinking. Now, this is easier said than done. I know. But what if during a crisis we are able to think about a good thing that came out of it. What if instead of beating ourselves down, we think about all the things we got right. It takes a lot of practice and self-loathing to get to the point where we start looking at the bright side. But once we get there, we will never want to go back. So the next time you are in a crisis, or messed something up, or even got your heartbroken, try to think about all the good things that might have come out of it. Try to tell yourselves that this was the best thing that could have happened. And if you still want more inspiration, remember the Gorilla glue Girl. 

Saying good things about yourself is the next step. Believe me when I tell you that nobody in the world will ever love you as much as you could love yourself. If you don't say good things about yourself, nobody else is going to. There is nothing wrong with a little self-appreciation for everything you have achieved and learned. For the progress, you have made. For the difficulties, you have faced. Know that every moment you doubted yourself was a moment you learned something new about yourself. So say how good you are out loud. You don't owe anybody anything to love yourself.

Self-care is soul care. And my definition of self-care involves taking care of my skin, my hair and my body. Figure out a skincare routine that you can do every day. It can be as simple as washing your face to a 12 step Korean skincare. Have a hair care routine. Give extra attention to yourself occasionally. Put on a hair mask, shave your legs or even do a face treatment. Be very careful of what you put inside your body. You become what you eat. So if you eat healthy, you will feel healthy and if you feel healthy, you become healthy. 

Clothes matter. What you wear matters. If you regularly wear clothes that make you feel unimportant or unflattering it will start to affect you. Changing the way you dress can completely change the way you feel about yourself. So wear whatever you want. There are no fashion rules when it comes to feeling beautiful. Wear what you like, when you like. If you don't have a problem with it, others shouldn't have a problem with it. But there's also a long moral code to follow as we are social animals, so try not to get yourself arrested for indecent clothing. Use common sense when it comes to that. 

Be kind to yourself. You are not flawless. You will make stupid mistakes. It is okay. We all do foolish things every day. But that doesn't mean we have to reprimand ourselves every time something goes wrong. Some things are just inevitable. You could be mad at yourselves all you want. But that's probably what would have happened anyway. Let it go. You only have control over your actions. The rest is your karma. When you start to judge yourself, remember judging yourselves leads to stress, and stress leads to hair fall. Do you really want to do that? Right after the hair mask. Just do good deeds and if you mess up something, tell yourself it's ok. Sing I'm only human by Christina Perri. 

And finally, do not let anyone determine your worth. You are invaluable. You are wonderful. You are unique. You are you. Nobody gets to decide otherwise. Believe in yourself enough to walk away when someone questions your self-esteem. Do not let someone walk all over you or make you feel uncomfortable. Whoever it is, have enough trust in yourself and call them out. Tell them they are wrong. Remind them about how great you are and have always been. Do not settle down for less, anywhere. 

Just remember that at the end of the day there are no sufferings or blessings. It is what you make of it. 

In this world filled with problems, the best thing you can do for yourself is loving yourself. And nobody will do a better job at it, than you. Remind yourself every day about how important you are. Think about how the world would have been affected if you weren't there. Remember everything you have offered to this world.

You are the most important thing you should love.

With all the love in the world

Yours truly,

Butterfly

If you have any suggestions, doubts or queries feel free to mention them in the comment box below.